Loose the Demons Within

Loose the demons within ye,

Fear not while they encircle thee,

For if you don’t you’ll never know

What truly lives inside your soul.

You’ve let them loose and soon you’ll see

What it is that you can be;

Indeed you’ll need to sort things out

and live your life without a doubt.

There’s no changing what we’ve done,

We must learn from where we’ve gone;

Who we are and what we’ve become.

The only life necessity

Is choosing our own destiny;

Setting out to overcome,

We can become anyone.

Truth you learn about yourself

Can’t be found on any shelf.

The power deep within your soul

Can take you where you want to go;

The only way to further growth

Is to take a stand and give an oath

that you’ll move with certainty

and you can change who you will be.

It’s not easy, that’s for sure

but you will indeed mature.

If you’re seeking happiness

Alas, with this: rest your stress.

There is nothing you can see

or buy or touch to set you free.

There is but one truth required

Self satisfaction must be acquired.

Discover this and you will see

Just how happy you can be.

Take it further and you will know

Just how much the world can grow.

Instead of bickering in petty quarrels

We can stop killing and live with good morals.

Let us protect our sovereignty

Did you know you’ve lost civil liberty?

You see while you’ve argued about Abortions,

Scandals, Drugs, and Religious Forces.

In terror you’ve missed what’s most important, see

you’ve failed to protect what makes us free.

Tagged “Patriot” during a media war,

A bill once declined can pass on The Floor

Completely abolishing what we hold dear

while idiots, confused and consumed with fear,

Will force their opinions instead of just fact

With meaningless laws that we should retract.

Completely preoccupied in a screen of smoke,

We’ve forced our opinions, now our system is broke.

We’ve sacrificed all our fathers have left us

And traded it all for war, debt and taxes.

We leave important stuff like accountability,

to a biased and lying “research” committee.

The distortion, fear and covered up importance,

Truly comes from inside this body of governance.

There’s plenty of details you didn’t see,

As they hushed them and rushed them and said “trust me.”

You can’t pay attention while you run and hide,

You’ve been deceived by your own side.

Even if there was an attacker, you see,

Lying to your people is unnecessary.

Now look at it all in retrospect,

We all messed up but, with respect,

We can still research a good portion,

Not the whole truth, but at least some distortion.

Then ask yourself, in all honesty,

“Do I really think those leaders care about me?”

It’s probable that some really do support us,

But their will alone can’t destroy this circus.

If the country were still run constitutionally,

We would actually still be free.

Instead we vote for satanic “Christian” posers

and let baseless wars start right under our noses.

With loaded terms like “Conspiracy”

We’re told these things are simply crazy!

Why do you think elections are hard to decide,

If you act day-to-day like our politicians don’t lie.

It’s talking to each other, that is the key

I’ll listen to you, you listen to me,

Don’t claim It insane if you won’t check and see,

You should admit: that’s just plain blasphemy.

A system designed to move “money” to the top,

While you’re getting robbed for all that you’ve got.

Private companies managing worth of our own sixpence,

But money no longer has value, besides “confidence.”

Economy is rated by spending, you see,

and we’re the ones spending, while they save with greed.

While we spend 100% of our earnings,

They sing and praise our mindless subservience.

Hughes, Rockefeller and Bushes resting above us,

draining our pockets and singing in chorus.

Spending a fraction of what we deliver,

while watching society’s pockets perpetually get slimmer.

Next the fake economy withers and crumbles,

So we print more money “to save the masses”

cycles everlasting in a system of shambles.

Poverty and misery and all that’s distorted,

are illusions from history when man stumbled and horded.

But we’ve progressed far—really far since then,

there is chance to recover, but our minds must bend.

There’s plenty of resources for us all to survive,

And even have homes, water and food for all people alive.

We’re going to have to work hard and strive.

It will take research and unlearning,

departure from this hive,

but satiation of yearning

can still arrive.

Even for trinkets and “meaningless” obsessions,

we have enough tools to destroy this oppression.

We will still work, and still live daily lives,

But we will be honest, without false inflation,

We will distribute goods amongst every nation.

Living in real world economy,

where we no longer think of an enemy.

We can even still live very comfortably,

With items of convenience shared for free.

We just can’t support this stupid economy,

unless we’re wealthy, stupid or we enjoy slavery.

There’s so much more that you deserve,

But they’re holding us back and making us serve.

Even spending money, to push good research under,

Just to prolong this world encompassing blunder.

The reach of those “elite” few has grown to be ubiquitous,

But our founding fathers are counting on us,

To protect their design which, to this day, remains tremendous.

The system they made was designed to protect us,

Our ignorance in using it is just plain sacrilegious.

The “lesser of evils” is the one that destroyed it,

along with me and you when we let them deform it.

Pay attention to congress and the hierarchy,

and start demanding better transparency.

It’s our fuckin’ country, made by you and me,

so stop looking for answers from FOX and NBC.

Those choices are ensuring our slavery.

Get off your ass and make a stand, it’s free,

And maybe we’ll retake our liberty.

Before you label and ignore me,

Remember the importance of speech that is free.

I’m not yet worried about UFOs

I’m much more concerned about what the facts expose

Right here and now in our own country

Awful things have happened; it’s up to you and me

To set this straight and do things right

We can’t be too indifferent or lazy to fight.

We must stand strong and gather our might

And never give up on repairing the blight

The road will be tough but we’ll do it despite

All obstacles are nothing, and this may sound trite,

But, we can restore our nation and the world’s delight.

I know it probably seems like I’m being forthright,

But it’s absolutely essential, you start caring tonight!

--

I wrote this poem some time ago and I feel like I probably didn't post it because I wanted to edit it, but I threw an excerpt of it online recently and so I've decided to post the whole thing. Another possibility is that I wasn't intending to link a long-time anonymous pseudonym to my publicly known profile, but I don't think I ever published any of the other stuff written under it so it seems like a moot point.

Implosively exploding, magnetically eroding, and eventually foreboding.

TheXenocide unloading encoding goading

Sleep is for the week
and blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth,
though once I’m done with her,
I’m not sure what she’ll be worth.
But don’t mind me,
I’m more of a tripper than a flipper,
seeking truth through insanity
over temporary remedy to reality.

The extremes of regimes suppressing
are in conflict with progressing
so let’s do the next best thing
while they’re in committee digressing
we can focus on collecting
and with others grow means for affecting
the world and more people projecting
peace and happiness connecting
the populace and infecting
with all those rejecting
greed and politics and expecting
inspecting, ejecting, respecting and erecting
discussing who they're electing
rather than deflecting
for fear of someone objecting
effecting intersecting subjecting
inflecting rather than neglecting.

Be weary however
we don’t have forever
we must get together
to push through whatever
may stand in our way.
Stand up this day
and be proud to say
you party and play
but you will not stray
from the NINJA way.

Is It Really Real Son?

I came to bring the pain hardcore from the brain, let's go inside my astral plane.

This is going to take a while to read but you should really consider it. If you can't read it all at least read the first link below or maybe make multiple trips. I'll warn you that this is emo as all hell, but in it there is hope and direction that could change lives and those lives could add up to a changed world. I say this more-so than much of the change I've ever supported. It's broad but it's deep and very much needed, so please take the time to read.

When you give it to me ay, give it to me raw

I just read the most wonderful and inspiring post about The Disease Called Perfection and I'm here now to show my support for being real. I'm not the only one either, it's important to know just how many people have been affected by this, and just how many more are there for support. There's a follow-up that promotes working together to be The CURE for "Perfection" and I'm in the mood to be a little more real than just one thing, but I'll try to follow the format at least loosely. I'm not so sure if these are my biggest trials, mistakes or struggles as I've had many and they've made me who I am today. I'm posting this here because even though anonymity is offered in the comments there I feel that I need to back my claims of being open and honest and catalog some of my imperfections here in front of my friends and family. All that said, here goes:

I dated someone for 5 1/2 years out of comfort and fear of change. I justified the things I should have taken as signs and I lied to myself and to her to keep it going. I was hurt and I caused pain. I became spiteful and angry, which takes a very very long time of repetition and exasperation and despite my lifelong quest for understanding, self control, patience and forgiveness, I once threw a pillow at her out of anger. Sure, "it was only a pillow" but I am more ashamed of that pillow than any other action of my life. My mother sacrificed everything, at times maybe even her last bits of sanity, saving my siblings and I from the cyclic abuse of all varieties that had plagued her family for generations and I always promised that I would never be one of those people. I wasn't true to my own values and standards and still I belittled hers for being selfish and immature.

If I could write to that person I once was I would tell him that there is a fine line but a huge contrast in working through differences of opinion and sacrificing who you are. I would tell him that he should be more confident and that he will find someone that accepts him for who he is because he's amazing, despite the few flaws that make him as imperfect as everyone else.

When I was younger and more reckless I threw a party at which a guest tried to force himself on a young lady. I was so blinded by rage that instead of just making a difference I beat him, bloodying his face and trying to break limbs, until I was pulled away. I invited the people, I intoxicated the young and inexperienced and the worst truth is that I would have killed him. It might not seem so bad to some, but even then I knew for a fact that people learn and change. My closest cousin and others in my family had already traveled those roads and, as terrible as rape is, what I did showed no more control than him. What's worse is that I've told people of this event as though it made me a protector or someone who stood against barbarianism when I myself had been one, before and after then, which may only stand to perpetuate such travesty. I probably knew this before but I didn't even admit it to myself until reading these posts and thinking back with a more critical eye and vulnerable disposition.

If I could send that young man a letter I would remind him of his own imperfections and that his place is not to judge but to support change. I would tell him that he can make a difference, even in those people, but he needs to be a good man and keep his convictions regardless of the situation or he stands only to reduce his own reliability and diminish the impact he can have. Most importantly, I would remind him, as he has thought he understood long before and after, that it matters not what one says, but what they do that defines who they are.

More recently than those is something that remains heavy on my heart, though lighter over time, even today. I found a friend who hung himself. I go over it and know that it's past and that he made his choice and that he told nobody and showed no signs, but every now and then I still break down and blame myself. What if I hadn't moved out? Why didn't I see how torn up he was? There's more, but "I know" none of that matters and that it's not my fault. He was unable to pursue the military career he always wanted in life, lost his "one true love" and probably felt that he had no hope but ultimately I believe that he felt like a burden on his friends and loved ones and thought it would be best if he stopped dragging them down. He didn't understand that his criminal record, joblessness and propensity for partying a bit too hard didn't mean he couldn't live a long and happy life making positive change in others as he always wanted but would seldom admit openly.

I'm not qualified to write a letter to this me just yet; I could put down eloquent and insightful words, but they're words I already know and have shared and hoped would put others at ease. They're words that are true and yet still I hold on not knowing why. I'm not so good at taking my own advice, though I tend to give it well. I support movements like To Write Love On Her Arms and try to make it known that life is never without value, not out of penance but because I didn't really understand just how real and close to home suicide could be. It doesn't weigh on me as heavily so perhaps it will eventually fade--only time will tell.

If I could write a letter to my friend though, I would remind him that people change and that the world changes. I'd also make it clear to him that as much as he depended on us, we were so much more dependent on him for the joy he spread so well. I'd point out how many people were changed by him and how amazing he was at bringing people together and tell him how much more powerful of a weapon that is in war than any weapon a soldier carries. I'd tell him how important it is for him to share his story, rather than leaving mere fragments of that power behind.

Perhaps it's just the way I'm looking at it, but the perfection article didn't tell me things I didn't know per se, but rather made me admit and realize many things. I reflect regularly, but the article and the amazing set of comments therein drew attention to things I had forgotten or buried. It reminded me the power and importance of open forum and gave me an opportunity to say things that are important to me with relevance to others and perhaps a chance to have a wider impact than my normal ramblings. I am also impressed and compelled by the response and have a renewed sense of hope that people will share their lessons with each other, be there for each other and help make a better world. A homeless man told me something as a child that I will never forget: "A smart man learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others."

Thank you Dan Pearce and all those taking part in this; I wish there was an adequate way to express the gratitude I feel

Is it real son, is it really real son, let me know it's real son, if it's really real. Something I could feel son, load it up and kill one; want it raw deal son, if it's really real.

The Fair Elections Now Act (S. 752 and H.R. 1826)

For those who don't know, The Fair Elections Now Act is a bill that was recently introduced and passed by the Committee on House Administration regarding a new campaign funding model in an attempt to regulate special interest funding and ensure that our representation are not held in the pockets of "Big Business." All that remains is for a vote on the floor of the House. I'm quite pleased to see change in this regard, but I had some concerns about its legitimacy and wanted to seek some other opinions on the matter. I have recently sent the following message to Dr. Ron Paul, U.S. Representative, Texas Congressional District 14, which I am also sharing here:

Dear Dr. Paul et al,

I've been a fan and supporter for some time and find that while we may have some minor disagreements, we share very similar views on many core issues.

Recently I've been looking into The Fair Elections Now Act which calls attention to an aspect of government that I feel desperately needs change. I definitely see problems with special interest funding but some of the Act's supporters surprise me and the amount of money "Good Government" groups are investing in advertising could be a good sign, but I do still have to wonder. As one of the few elected independents and a supporter of grassroots campaigns I went about looking for your stance on the bill to try to get another perspective from a politically aware person I respect, but I see you're still undecided on the matter. I realize that I'm not in your congressional district and that you may not reply to this message, but if necessary, in lieu of direct contact, I'd like to ask if you could at least take the time to make a public statement on H.R. 1826 so that those of us still up in the air on whether or not to contact our representation can consider your view as someone who might better understand the underlying and long term implications therein.

Thanks much for your time and passion about compassion; may your days be well

Even Though You’re Gone

I’ll never know what happened,
or answer these questions,
but I know that it’s not the end,
so in these redemption's
my life is going to bend.

Perhaps life was egregious,
but the smiles you gave
were never facetious
and when needed you were brave
though a bit promiscuous

Even though you’re gone
no matter how long
your remnants live on
in lives and in hearts and in song
you’ve even left spawn.

I never thought I’d be this strong
and even though you’re gone
I promise to carry your memory on
Giving hope to those wronged,
smiling, and loving those ladies long.

Written in loving memory of Jonathan David Tribbey

Control Methods for ASP.NET AJAX

Page Methods

As of late several things have been calling my attention to get back into JavaScript, most especially in the area of AJAX. Through colleagues and friends I've been introduced to a lot of the popular standards right now, which all seemed to follow the patterns I expected, but there were some things that I payed extra homage to. Most notably, I really enjoy the concept of Page Methods. If you haven't used them yet, Page Methods allow you to define a static WebMethod in the class for an ASP.NET Page and expose them to client script. ScriptManager.EnablePageMethods adds the convenience of generating a proxy to access the method from client script with little hassle, though it turns out the property isn't needed to call the service, it only generates client script for you (probably based on reflection of the page, though I haven't checked into this yet). With some further reading (due to a nod from a colleague) I found Dave Ward's post on using jQuery to directly call ASP.NET page methods. All was well and good... until that curiosity kicked in.

Encapsulation

One of my favorite things about Page Methods is that it allows the logic for asynchronous calls to be grouped in the same body of code that it pertains to. Just as I define event handlers for oldschool postbacks in the page, I can also define the callbacks used by a page there. There are some other differences worth noting, such as a slimmer service model since no WSDL is necessary and only JSON is supported, which can arguably be considered a performance optimization, but ultimately (as an engineer) the encapsulation is what really draws me to this design.

Control Methods

After appreciating the value of being able to call a service whose definition is within the page, one thing that seems to be common is for people to try to do the same within a UserControl. It seems like a great idea to be able to implement reusable AJAX controls keeping the logic contained within the code it relates to. This is especially noteworthy when the asynchronous call is specific to the logic of the control; currently most controls use .asmx web services, which makes sense, especially if a web service will be reused, but all-in-all, seems a mite overboard for some particular control's one-off auto-complete list or the like and, additionally, it unnecessarily complicates organization and maintenance efforts. Unfortunately, as many others have commented, this feature is not supported for methods within a UserControl. When looking into how web services are provided in ASP.NET it seemed to be an unnecessary limitation; true .ascx extensions are, by default, handled by the HttpForbiddenHandler, but Page Method requests shouldn't be (and as research indicates, aren't) handled by PageHandlerFactory or the Page class; the methods are static and initializing the page's object model would defeat the purpose of using real web services instead of UpdatePanel (for those that are less familiar with the life-cycle of a page and why this would be less efficient, this is a good starting point). To me, this implied that the handling of these methods only required a static method marked with some attributes to exist within a class accessible by the web application; the rest was a matter of translating the request into the right calls.

Enter ScriptModule. ScriptModule is configured in Web.config for all ASP.NET AJAX projects. It seems to facilitate a few things, though I didn't look into much detail as my only concern was with the handling of Page Methods. As it turns out, the limitation is strictly superficial; ScriptModule explicitly checks that the current request is a Page before doing anything related to a REST query.

ScriptModule has a very simple process for handling Page Methods and the implementation details were really handled in classes and static methods that received relative paths and method names as string parameters. Perfect! I should be able to reuse the existing implementation after changing little of the request parsing... right? Wrong. Unfortunately all of the helper classes and methods are marked internal so there is no easy way to access the existing functionality. Alas, I really like the idea of encapsulating my control logic in my control class. It would probably be possible to rewrite the implementation, or more suitable for Microsoft to modify the module to handle a few more cases (they could actually modify a few things, like the convenience code generation and properties for Extenders), but for the time being I have settled on creating a solution that used the same implementation as Page Methods through Reflection.

Reflection

The downside to using reflection in this solution is that typical ASP.NET security models do not allow much reflection. Some trust levels provide limited reflection permission, but invoking internal members of an assembly is forbidden as a security measure in all of the default security levels short of Full Trust (which is not ideal for production environments). The other levels can be modified to support ReflectionPermission, but ultimately the rule is in place for a reason. That said I've created two methods to access Control Methods. One is an in-application ashx handler that would require the above-mentioned security modifications, but is rather simple to drop in. The other (recommended) option is an IHttpModule contained in a strong-named assembly registered in the Global Assembly Cache. By default, assemblies in the GAC are granted full trust, even in web applications, so the module can serve Control Methods without compromising the security of the web application.

Source

Since it seems like other people are interested in this as well, I've posted my implementation of Control Methods for ASP.NET AJAX to CodePlex under a BSD style license. It's not a priority of mine, but I do intend to further extend this to support the same functionality for Master Pages as well as trying to test interaction with various AJAX Server Controls (like AutoCompleteExtender). I have not tested standard ASP.NET authorization and security methods extensively yet either. Still, the design model is good, and maybe this will call some attention to the desire for this functionality to get some official support.